May 31st, 2012

I ended May with a vomit-filled bang which led to this picture.

I had a very long day. I started full time today, meaning I had to be an adult and work from 8-4:30. The problem is that I worked until 10:30 last night and thus got very little sleep. So, it was a long day. My husband and I went grocery shopping after work and that was all fine. We were in a rather good mood even after dealing with the hell that is the commissary.

We walked in the door, laden with bags, to find at least 6 piles of dog puke all over the apartment. I don't know what Barnacle got into, but it made him sick. It's probably from when he eats grass and leaves outside like an idiot. He has been puking on and off for a good three hours. My husband left for work two hours ago, so I have been doing the bulk of the cleaning.

Now, I wasn't going to have wine tonight, but after the 10th vomit pile I just said "fuck it." (I'd use more pristine language, but I've cleaned up about 300 vomit piles tonight).

Needless to say, a vet visit is more than likely in Barnacle's near future. He is not allowed to eat or drink for at least 12 hours because he threw up a huge pile of water about 30 minutes ago. I want to go to sleep but I'm afraid I'll wake up to a vomit filled crate. Which, let's face it, I probably will.

I've had enough bodily fluids for one day.

May 29th & 30th, 2012

After such a lengthy absence/blog post, I figured you deserved a quick one (ladies).

So, on the 28th, I discovered something about Barnacle.

Barnacle would rather be in his crate than anywhere else.

We moved his crate into the living room when our friends came to visit, partly because we didn't want to be the crazy people whose dog has his own room, and partly because we didn't think they'd want to sleep in the same room as him. He seemed to like his crate being in the living room so we decided to leave it where it is and now it's where he sleeps, always. He didn't even get out of his crate to greet me when I got home tonight.

My theory is that he loves his crate, but would only sleep in there (on his own accord) sometimes because it was in a room separate from us, and Barnacle likes to be in the same room as people. So, now he can sleep in comfort and be in the same room as we are; we have made his life easier unknowingly.

Today was a bittersweet day.

My last day at Army Lodging.

It's true, I'm happy to have only one job with more convenient hours. However, I liked working at the hotel, mostly because I liked the people there, and I'm really going to miss them. It's one of the only jobs I've ever had where I'd spend a good hour just talking to a coworker, there are a really good group of people working there.

The good news is, I left on a good note and it's not like I can't visit. I'm also still working for MWR, so I will still be in the same branch of NAF and thus more likely to come in contact with them via work.

So I was happy/sad to leave, which is I think the Webster's definition of bittersweet - slash and all.

May 19th, 2012 - May 28th, 2012

This is a long post, so buckle your seat belts and grab a bowl of potato chips (kind of like the two bowls of chips I just ate).

Alright, on the 19th I went to the airport to pick up my friends. But, I suffered some unexpected criticism over my apparel.

I was waiting at Baggage Claim when a woman looked at me, looked at my shirt and sneered and walked away. Now, my first guess is that she is jealous that she does not have a xylophonosaurus shirt. My other guess is that she thought, look at that ridiculous American with her dinosaur shirt.

Look all you want, lady. Don't be jealous.

On the 20th, Daniel and I took our friends around our town, Ansbach, wherein we visited the palace gardens - which I did not know about until recently.

It was very pretty, I'm glad we went to see it for the first time in late spring, when everything is in bloom. It was also fun to imagine ourselves as lords and ladies taking a turn about the garden and speaking in English accents. Ok, so I was the only one speaking in an English accent.

On the 21st I confronted a very deep fear and instantly regretted it.

My friend, Nick, was hell bent on climbing to the top of a tower while we were in Rothenburg. You had to pay two euro for this, I do not know why you would have to pay two euro for climbing until you want to die and then looking out a tower. Obviously, I did not want to go, as I am deathly afraid of heights and narrow staircases. However, everyone agreed to go, and I didn't want to be the lame parent that sits out of the rollercoaster line, so I went.

The stairs became increasingly more steep, narrow, and dangerous the higher we got. By the end it was like climbing a ladder, and I got more anxious with every step. When we reached the final ladder/flight of stairs we had to pay the 2 euro. Nick graciously bought my ticket because he was the instigator of the terror. Then, we all climbed up and I immediately and deeply regretted my decision to hoist myself out of the safety of the tower room.

We were standing on a (very) narrow walkway, which basically meant you were right up against the fence - pictured above - overlooking the whole town. I can see now that it was a pretty sight, but I was hyperventilating too much to appreciate it. I kept repeating, "I don't like this, I don't like this."

Eventually, I started imagine all the ways I could fall off the tower to my death, over the fence was the most likely since it only came to my waist, and I had to get off - this time I could feel the panic attack rising in my throat, and hysteria bubbling out.

I slowly lowered myself down the ladder, shaking, and kept going till I was outside. I don't think I've ever been that terrified.

What's strange is that about a week prior I had a dream that Liz, Nick, Daniel, and I (or all the people who went up the tower) were having lunch on top of a skyscraper that had no guardrail and it suddenly tipped and we all started sliding off. I now feel that was a slightly prophetic dream.

Anyway, on the 22nd we went to Prague.

Here we are, having finally found the castle (we think). Honestly, it could've just been a cathedral, but it was pretty and we were exhausted and weren't going to keep looking, this was on hour 6 of walking I believe. Walking for hours on end is tiring, by the way.

That being said, Prague is beautiful, albeit tourist filled. I'm very glad we went.

On the 23rd we headed to Garmisch, and the first day was spent relaxing/bar hopping.

Here is Daniel and I before we got too crazy, you know casually drinking beer (him) and wine (me). 

It was a fun night, I think I enjoyed it most because it was leisurely and not filled with an immense amount of walking - which as we know is for the birds. Or is that flying?

On the 24th we visited the Disney Castle - or rather the castle that the Disney castle is modeled after. Unfortunately, the cool looking side was covered in scaffolding, so here is Daniel and I and the Alps.

Pretty, no?

Oh, the mountains, too. Wink.

On the 25th! We spent our last day in Dachau.

The concentration camp. It was incredibly overwhelming and sad, and I actually forced a quick exit after seeing the memorial museum. I'm glad we went, but I have no interest in ever seeing another concentration camp for the rest of my life. I'm surprised I was able to leave not in tears.

On a lighter note, on the 26th we picked Barnacle up from the kennel.

And he was PSYCHED. He was so excited to see us when we picked him up, it almost makes me forget that sometimes he's an annoying a-hole. I love him anyway, though. Dopey dog.

On the 27th, I caught Daniel and Bootstrap making up for lost time.

I did not stage this, I literally saw Daniel reach over and scoop Bootstrap into this embrace. They love to snuggle.

They also snuggled on the 28th, in a weird way.

It looks like Bootstrap is saying "spoon me" and Daniel is saying "no, she's taking a picture."

Daniel does this sometimes, it was actually a sweet snuggle session until I pulled out my iPhone, then Daniel crossed his arms like a 5 year old and pouted.

May 18th, 2012

Today we cleaned the house like we have never cleaned it before. I have some genetic glitch that freaks out when any sort of company is coming over. It gets worse when that company is staying for an extended period of time. So, basically we cleaned everything, including the baseboards of the wall. I could tell that my husband was mostly humoring my manic cleaning episode. While he wanted a clean house, I'm sure he didn't think our friends would be scrutinizing the baseboards. But, he cleaned them anyway.

During the cleaning there was also organizing, and Bootstrap took it upon himself to go to sleep on the organization.

I guess shoes make a comfy bed?

Anyway, later that night.

Nap time.

I was exhausted, too, but not too tired to take a picture of snuggle time. Daniel was probably a little more tired than me after working overnight then barely sleeping during the day. Then it was time for housecleaning 2012. So, I guess he earned a nap. Bootstrap, however, did nothing all day. So, his nap was totally self indulgent.

Damn cats.

May 14th - 17th, 2012

On the 14th, we decided to class up Bootstrap's bathroom.

We covered that shit up, literally.

But, before we could even get it in the bathroom, he decided to explore, of course. That being said, this litter box is a big improvement on the open air litter box.

But that's enough shit talkin'.

On the 15th I got emailed an AMAZING picture.

My husband. With long(er) hair. In khakis.

Of course frowning.

He looks like Brad from Home Improvement - a thanks to my friend for pointing that out to me. I laughed so so so so hard at this picture. It still makes me laugh. Oh, it's so funny.

Also on the 15th, an updated picture of my husband.

Again frowning.

This time he's scowling because I'm capturing his cat lady crazy moment, again.

On the 16th, we gave Barnacle a bone.

He's not the best at finding hiding places.

Barnacle does this every time we give him one of these bones. It's only these bones that he does this with. He will walk around (crying) carrying it around for a good 15 minutes, then he will "hide" it and come back in the living room and lay down. Eventually I will go find it and then he will feel compelled to eat it, because clearly I am after it and want to eat it myself.

Our dog is so neurotic.

Finally, today.

Bootstrap is practicing the kitty cat dance. Anyone who doesn't understand the reference should go HERE immediately. Really, you should go there anyway.

May 9th - 12th, 2012

In case you haven't noticed, I have very weird pets. I got a kitten after getting a dog because I had heard that kittens and dogs bond, whereas dogs and cats chase each other with sticks do not. I figured they wouldn't hate each other, but I did not foresee their love. I know that sounds corny, but it's true.

Barnacle was just walking by a decided to give Bootstrap a kiss on the head. He does this a lot. Sometimes I pick up Bootstrap and his head's all wet. Albeit, sometimes that's because they were having a boxing match, and sometimes it's because Bootstrap hangs out in the sink. But, sometimes it's because Barnacle kisses his head.

On the 10th I started seriously considering just buying Bootstrap a heating pad.

The only reason Bootstrap hangs out on the DVD player is because it's warm. So, perhaps to avoid his constantly blocking the TV and opening the player I think it might be time to just buy him his own heating pad to sleep on.

On the 11th you'll find out why we just shouldn't buy Barnacle pillows.

That little crumpled bit of fabric used to be a dog bed. He always rips them open and rips the stuffing out. We only spend $10 at a time now for pillows because they are very dispensable in our house. Also, he ripped all the stuffing out of that blanket, too, and today he felt the need to drag it out of his crate and into the living room.

On the 12th, Bootstrap was sleeping on our bed.

And he blends in with our new comforter. Also, I think he likes it more than we do.

Finally, today, a quandary.

I finished Water For Elephants, great book by the way, but now I have nothing to read. For some reason I am continuously reading books made into movies. So, I downloaded The Vow to my kindle because the book got good reviews and the movie got okay reviews. Mostly I'm hoping it's not overly emotional or that it doesn't - you know - suck.

May 6th - 8th, 2012

So, on the 6th I took a picture that makes Barnacle look like a crazed robot.

I was trying to take a picture of us playing tug of war, but he made a particularly violent tug when I took the picture. So, he looks crazy. It kind of reminds me of the robot mouse in American Tale. That thing was freaky.

I also took a normal picture of our tug of war.

Playing tug of war with Barnacle is a little difficult, since he is over half my size. But, sometimes I let him play. Sometimes.

On the 7th, we were looking for Bootstrap everywhere in the room, and suddenly Daniel pointed at the dresser.

And there he was, just hangin' out.

Finally, today was scary at work.

Someone brought in fish. They put them on my desk. They were staring at me. So, I had to move them. When I did, one of them jumped at my finger and I almost dropped the whole thing on the floor. I am not making this up. Fish are evil and try to eat you. Even little fish.

Stupid fish.

May 4th & 5th, 2012

A Bootstrap themed post!

Please, contain your excitement. I'll wait while you wipe the beverage you slopped onto your computer in your extreme glee at my first sentence.

Ok, so, last night I decided to take a picture of a game Bootstrap and I play.

It starts with Bootstrap throwing himself to the ground at my feet, literally. When he's in a weird mood he does this. Then, I lock him between my feet and he goes nuts squirming around. As you can see, he was in mid swipe when I took this picture.

Today! Bootstrap got trapped in a bag and it was highlarious.

Unfortunately, I was laughing too hard to get more pictures of him stumbling around with the strap over his head. He started out on the table, just trying to get in the bag. Instead, he got his head stuck and then proceeded to flail. He flailed all the way into the chair, knocking it to the floor in a crash.

Once he got himself free, he did this.

Bootstrap really doesn't learn. Instead of fearing the ensnaring bag, he climbed happily in. What a doofus.

April 30th - May 3rd, 2012

On the 30th, I had a shadow. Again.

Any time I move this dog has to follow me. He's ridiculous. At least he was laying down instead of taking up the whole bathroom with his enormous horse frame.

On the first you get three pictures! The first is Daniel and his BFF.

Barnacle actually sat, because he was tired. That's the only time he listens.

Also!

Enjoying our country walk. :)

Finally, on the first, Barnacle had a first.

He got to stick his head out the window. He was Psyched. Notice his ear flapping in the wind.

Also notice how filthy he's making my window. You should see the backseat.

On the second, Bootstrap controlled mechanical devices with his fat.

He likes to lay on the DVD player because it's warm. This time he moved his fat over and opened it.

Such a fatty.

Today! In the morning I went on a nice morning walk with Barnacle and then he got to run around the skate park.

After the cursory running around like maniacs, they decided to wrestle over this stick. Weirdos.

Finally, I came upon this Dr. Dolittle scene.

Awwwwwwwwww.